1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an
eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whiskey maker,
But he loved her still.
4. A rubber band
pistol was confiscated from algebra class,
Because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope,
It'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
And was cited for littering.
grenade thrown into a kitchen in France
Would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found
in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like
Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll
go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center
Said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from
Prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and
Pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts.
In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary,
They got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris,
be in Seine.
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
stewardess looks at him and says,
'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall
One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
sank, proving once again that
You can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies,
'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.